A little dab’ll do ya!

From Shaman’s Rock

By Jim Poling Sr.

I am hopelessly out of touch with the world of 2020.

My hair has led me to that realization. I haven’t had it cut for five and half months and people have started to call me Doc, after Dr. Emmett Brown, the absent-minded professor in the movie Back to Future. Doc, with his wild grey curls, often looked like he had just stuck his finger in an electric light bulb socket. 

So, I needed something to tame my wild and crazy mane. My mind quickly drifted back decades to the days when my dad introduced me to Brylcreem, a favourite men’s hair cream in those days.

That memory set off a famous jingle dancing in my head,

“Brylcreem, a little dab’ll do ya!

“Brylcreem, you look so debonair.

“Brylcreem, the gals will pursue ya,

Simply rub a little in your hair!”

Brylcreem, a dab the size of a dime would style, strengthen and condition your hair. I wondered if it was still being made so I asked Google.

Google told me that Brylcreem was invented in Britain in 1928 by a company called County Chemicals in Birmingham. It was an emulsion of water and mineral oil stabilized by beeswax. It rapidly became popular, notably among Royal Air Force (RAF) pilots during the Second World War. These guys became known as the Brylcreem Boys.

My dad did not serve in the RAF but he was a Brylcreem Boy. He always had a tube of it on his dresser. And, as part of my growing up ritual he made sure I had a tube of my own.

I used it faithfully, trying to slick back my curls in hopes of developing the duck-cut style of the rock ‘n roll generation. But I never recall the gals pursuing me.

Then came the brush cut era and Brylcreem and I parted company.

Google tipped me that Brylcreem was still alive and reasonably well despite its advanced age. Unilever, that British-Dutch giant that sells more than 400 brands of food, products, drinks, and personal care products in almost 200 countries, was selling it in stores across the U.S. and Canada.

So out shopping I went, breaking the pandemic isolation that had me looking like Doc Brown. I really needed a tube of Brylcreem to get my head slickly under control.

My first stop was a popular large department store with a personal care products section the size of Yankee stadium. There was row upon row upon row of shelving loaded with enough shampoos, conditioners, and hair goos to grease 100 rock bands for a lifetime.

The last time I had gone looking at hair products, a few bottles or tubes of shampoo and hair conditioners occupied a tiny corner of one shelf. Now there were hundreds of all shapes, sizes and labelling screaming, “Pick Me!”

There was a shea butter conditioner with your choice of bentonite clay or charcoal. And, a ‘strong roots’ coconut oil with a label showing sliced coconut, plus an extra virgin oil conditioner with a photo of some tasty-looking Frantoio olives.

Back in the old days, mom scolded us to eat our fruits, vegetables and nuts, not rub them into our hair.

Most appetizing of all was an egg protein hair product whose label featured a golden waffle being smeared with egg yolk and maple syrup. I couldn’t imagine someone plastering their hair with such a scrumptious meal in a bottle.

I wondered if the 2020 version of Brylcreem would be that yummy. I never tasted it when I was a boy, but knew of someone who did. In Season 2 of The Sopranos, Junior Soprano said to a colleague:

"The Federal Marshals are so far up my . . . I can taste Brylcreem."

He didn’t describe the taste.

Despite the hundreds of hair goos and other hair stuff on the endless rows of shelves, there was no Brylcreem.

I did find it online, however, and when I need more I won’t have to go to a store and become confused about whether I’m in the hair products or grocery aisle.

Better still, maybe the Covid pandemic will end someday, I’ll get a haircut and Brylcreem can return to the past.

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