Raccoons love me.
Why wouldn’t they? I give them bedtime snacks and a nice place to sleep.
Wandering about at night, tearing down bird feeders and chewing up hummingbird sippy cups, is exhausting work. So, it’s nice that a raccoon can find a place to get a bite to eat and take a nap.
A raccoon can just step into the little room that I provide, grab a snack, then curl up and stare up at the stars. The napping room is a bit confined but it’s airy and quiet if the raccoon ignores the noise of the door clanging shut and locking behind it.
The room is actually one of those ingenious wire cage traps. Tired from a night of raiding, a raccoon walks in to retrieve his snack, then steps on a release plate that snaps the door shut.
It’s all quite safe and humane. And, in the morning, a cheerful human comes by to say a few kind words and take it for a car ride. A long car ride to a new forest home many miles away.
I’ve just completed my fourth raccoon transport this week. On four consecutive nights raccoons have stopped by for a snack and a nap. On four consecutive mornings I have given the guests a cheery “good morning” and transported them to a new home.
Four raccoons in one week raises the question of whether I am catching the same raccoon over and over. They look alike with those black masks, and their bushy fur coats make it hard to determine differences in size.
However, I am not catching the same raccoon over and over. I am sure of that because I spray the tail of each one I catch with fluorescent orange paint. So far, none of those in the snack and nap room have had orange tails.
Several years ago, I had a raccoon spend the night in my snack and nap room. In the morning I painted its tail and transported it to the end of our lake, a journey of about one mile in a straight line.
Several mornings later I got up to discover the same raccoon with an orange tail napping in the little room.
I did some research and discovered that raccoons are good swimmers, capable of staying in the water for four hours. They also have excellent memories, especially when it comes to geography.
I set up the snack and nap room whenever the raccoons get silly bold with the bird feeders. I don’t mind if they take the occasional nibble at the feeders, but when they start going smash and grab crazy every night I set up the room.
Some folks find raccoons cute and cuddly, which I guess they can be if they stay out of the bird feeders. Some folks even find they make good pets.
One of the most famous raccoon pets was Rebecca, who lived at the U.S. White House during the 1920s presidency of Calvin Coolidge.
Some Americans were still serving roasted raccoon for Thanksgiving dinner back then, but when Coolidge first met Rebecca he decided to adopt her instead of eating her. She became a member of the White House family, accompanying Coolidge on walks, taking part in the annual Easter egg roll and getting an engraved collar as a gift one Christmas.
History records Rebecca as one of the brighter occupants of the White House but not the only one to have an eye mask.
All raccoons have black fur eye masks that reduce light glare and help them to see better, much like athletes who wear black stickers beneath their eyes.
The current U.S. president has a white eye mask, the result of using eye protection cups during his daily face tanning sessions. Some have speculated that the ultra-violet rays from a tanning machine have resulted in the president’s much-reported poor memory.
Raccoons, however, remember everything. Studies have shown that the little critters can remember solutions to tasks for up to three years.
That’s why they always know where the fullest and tastiest bird feeders are and how to get into them with those long, nimble fingers.
Right now, I’m hoping that the raccoons with the orange tails have forgotten where I live.
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