It has been a week of thoughtful
recollection and warm tributes to George H. W. Bush, the 41st
president of the United States, who died last Friday.
Like all leaders, global or
local, Bush collected his share of credits and blame and leaves a legacy of
character traits to follow or ignore. To me, a key Bush lesson is the value of
nurturing friendships.
Bush’s long friendship with
James Baker, his secretary of state and White House chief of staff, is well
documented as a friendship that benefitted both men and their missions.
There were many other
nurtured friendships, not so well documented but certainly reflective of how
friendships make us better human beings and help us achieve what we need to
achieve. One example is the 30-year friendship between Bush and Brian Mulroney,
our former prime minister.
The two men developed a bond
that Mulroney says helped achieve policies important to Canadians, including
the North American Free Trade Agreement and the U.S.–Canada Treaty on acid
rain.
Bush’s friendships were not
just with people who felt the same about things that he did. He was close with
Bill Clinton, the political opposite who denied him a second presidential term.
Some observers have said that Democrat Clinton had huge respect for the man he
defeated and Republican Bush treated Clinton much like a son.
Friendships offer people opportunities to learn from each other. Arnold Schwarzenegger, former California governor and
movie star, remembers that his friendship with Bush taught him “the good side
of politics, that you can cross the aisle and you can talk to the other side.”
Bush also was an example of how common
decency allows a person to have friendships with people who criticize you and sometimes
hurt you.
Maureen Dowd, the New York Times
journalist, revealed this week her unlikely friendship with Bush despite some
tough pieces she wrote about his presidency and that of his son, George.
Bush did not like some things the
New York Times wrote, but always seemed to understand the relationship between
the press and people in power. He never considered the media the enemy of the
people.
Dowd revealed that he once wrote her
a note that characterizes his feelings about the press and how building
friendships was a critical part of his character.
“Put it this way,’’ said his note to her. “I reserve the right
to whine, to not read, to use profanity, but if you ever get really hurt or if
you ever get really down and need a shoulder to cry on or just need a friend —
give me a call. I’ll be there for you. I’ll not let you down. Now, go on out
and knock my knickers off. When you do, I might just cancel my subscription.”
Bush
was a classic example of how to build, maintain and manage friendships. Respect
friends, their time, their space, their ideas and their opinions. You don’t
have to agree with them but don’t be manipulative or dishonest with them.
Being
honest is always the best way of doing the right thing, no matter how much it
might hurt. Bush showed that in a 1995 letter to the National Rifle Association
(NRA) of which he was a lifetime member.
Wayne LaPierre, the NRA
head, had written a mean-spirited letter to President Clinton condemning his
administration’s 10-year ban on some semi-automatic assault weapons (the ban
expired in 2004). It said the “ban gives jackbooted
government thugs more power to take away our constitutional rights, break in
our doors, seize our guns, destroy our property, and even injure or kill us.”
Bush, gun owner,
hunter and then retired in Houston, wrote LaPierre saying the NRA letter
offended a “sense of decency and honor” and “indirectly slanders a wide array
of government law enforcement officials, who are out there, day and night,
laying their lives on the line for all of us.”
The letter said he was
rescinding his lifetime NRA membership.
Times change,
sometimes not for the better. But George H. W. Bush never forgot the advice of
Aesop, the ancient Greek storyteller who wrote (personal pronouns changed to reflect
our times):
“A person is known by
the company he or she keeps.”
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